The bloke that's laughing at you...

    Size: Bloody huge. Well, obviously...

    Age: 20 something (subject to annual fluctuations)

    Star Sign: None. Astrology is a joke. I mean seriously - "You ruling planet has come into alignment with the sun which might mean that you are about to meet someone today, you may even have breakfast today..." Get it real. I don't want Zelda telling me whether or not I'm going to have a good day or not. If I want to step out in a hot-pink latex body suit complete with hood, horns and codpiece, I'll bloody well do it. Zelda can go spank herself. If it feels good, do it. If it don't, you'll probably get blisters which is a sign you should slow down and/or get some lubricant.

    Home: ...among the gum trees? I, er, don't think so. I'm on the Sunshine Coast. About an hour north of Brisbane (capital of Queensland). Australia. Just in case you were a little confused and live in Uraguay (or Tasmania) and haven a clue where Oz is let alone Brisbane. "Beautiful one day, perfect the next." That's the add campaign anyway. And let me tell you that this is crap. I mean its only just stopped raining and there is absolutley no surf, anywhere. Well, not today anyway. My house? Yeah, I live in one. Its got a... well, a front and a back and a roof - go figure. It's right accross the road from the beach too. Great beach.

    Occupation: Student. Although this can be heavilly debated. What exactly I am or should be studying is unknown. If you do happen to know somehow, please do not hesitate to mail me... Sunshine Coast University or University of the Sunshine Coast, whatever it is I go there right... B. Business, I think... Major? Well this kinda changes from semester to semester so I'll say somewhere between Marketing and Information Systems. They have a great Student Union which the Lord saw and said it was good cause it has free coffffffeeeee. Mmm, lovely.

    Other Details: Frankly I think you've had enough. Seriously, you're a mess... take a look at yourself. Disgusting. You should be ashamed.

    Parents: ...eheh heh heh heh... You see people think I came from a delightfully well adjusted family with lovely parents who went to all the right dinner parties, told all the right jokes, went to the right church and lived a happy normal life. Father would pop off to work merrily each morning, breifcase in hand and mother would stay at home and bake cookies. The truth however... well, lets just say that this was not quite accurate...